I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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