I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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