I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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