Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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