So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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