is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize