i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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