note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
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Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
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i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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