K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize