The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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