How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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