nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
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he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
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I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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