How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
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Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
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Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
tell me about the fingering
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