Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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