oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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