There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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