he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize