is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize