i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Your mouth is God's brothel.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize