you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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