Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize