your thong is hanging out like whoa
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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