His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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