no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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