there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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