My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
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5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
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Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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