It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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