I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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