On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize