Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize