he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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