You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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