if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
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