It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
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I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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