my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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