Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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