im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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