I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
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you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
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I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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