If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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