so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
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Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
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It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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