Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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