Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
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He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
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Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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