when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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