Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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