i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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