just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Can Purell be used as lube?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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