I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
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My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
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I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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