I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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