3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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