I'm going to jail i love you
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
wow bdsm is so cute
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize